Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Sheer Insignificance Thereof

Not everything you discover is from the Internet. You might not have known this. I'm just extending you the benefit of the doubt. What does "Benefit of the Doubt" equate to in this context? Specifically, most readers of a blog (disclaimer, not this one), tend to think that the blogger is stupid. For example, when a blogger posts about a household problem du jour, the readers comment with all types of knowledge that the blogger already knows, but which the readers assumed their featured blogger was totally clueless beyond belief so lacking in turpitude that the blogger must have been standing in the wrong line when they were passing out brain cells. I'm that kind of person, guilty as anybody else in that respect, or lack of respect. Okay, suffice it as a, "in that sense," which sounds more kool. It's just that any blogger needs fresh topics to post about. And not all topics are world shattering news. For example, "I'm sorry for not having blogged in a while, but blah and here's a bonus blah for good measure." That kind of world shattering news. Neither are the topics related on the daily basis to fields that the blogger is the world's reigning foremost authority of. That aside, if a given topic is about boiling water. Readers will summarily comment that you should always use a pot to boil water. You simply cannot boil water without using a pot. Oh, btw, it's nice to have a stove too. Then go on and on about the merits of an electric stove over a wood stove. See, if you continue to chop down the trees for firewood, eventually you'll destroy all the forests until the Amazon and the Great Barrier Reef are extinct, whoops the latter isn't a forest at all, the Sahara Desert, whoops that's not a forest either. It only gets better from there.

I discovered lately that chocolate does not agree with my stomach. It gives me heart burn, and when chocolate is in a very bad mood, occasionally acid reflex. The unvarnished truth is that I probably always were aware of this discomfort. Because chocholate is a readily available happy pill, I've kept myself in a suspended state of denial for something in the neighborhood of 160 years to supplement my serotonin level. Milk chocolate is not a problem, this ailment is more a reaction from concentrated undiluted forms of chocolate like chocolate chips in chocholate chipped incrusted cookies. Chocolate coated items seem not a problem either. My theory is that chocolate coating has to be rubberized by diluting the base consistency with milk fillers thusly this reduces the raw capsicum or whatever gives chocolate it's spiceiness. My neighbor gave me a still warm batch of home baked chocolate chip cookies. I did something for her. Some things you get paid for in cash. Other things, you get paid for in chocolate chip cookies. This was the chocolate chip cookies type of compensation. It's no news to you that I ate the entire package of chocholate chip cookies in a single sitting watching the ½-hour evening news. Oh boy, did it ever give me heartburn.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Of Late and Never

Before I forget to mention, the other week the silence of the night, er, the lull in traffic noise on the street below, was abruptly interrupted by this non-stop thundering. So I sat looking out at the night sky from my lanai (balcony) lamenting that this is nature's way of reminding us that summer had already passed and since the seasons never reverse we won't see summer until next year. The thunder is a prelude to the wet winter weather headed our way. Trumpets would sound better but it wouldn't make things better. Ah we'll survive another snowy winter in the islands. You know how people seem to rave about rainbows that they're a silvery lining and all that. I'll let you know that I'm not a huge fan of rainbows. Even as a consolation for the inclement weather. Rainbows in reality are simply exquisite to look at through a window from inside a building or on a postcard. I'm more an outdoor person, thus, rainbows are the antithesis to my metabolism.

Well it wasn't thunder after all. Scientific Fact: thunder is usually followed by lighting flashes. Non-stop thunder is even moreso followed by extened bursts of flashes and many lighting bolts oh puhleeze don't strike a tranformer and leave us with blackouts. This was already 10-minutes after the fact with no flashes lighting up the night sky. It was actually fireworks. Waikiki has a fireworks display every Friday night at 7:45 pm, but what threw me off was this was a Wednesday night. The weekly Friday night fireworks are set off at the other end of Waikiki. It's not visible from my apartment building. I can't even hear the explosions from this far off. However, whenever, I can hear the fireworks it means that it's being set off either from a offshore barge or a beach nearby my part of Waikiki town and because it usually to mark a special event, paid by a visitor group, the firework displays are more extravagant. I can see most of these rare aerial treats from my apartment building's stairwell. Well, like I was saying it was 10-minutes later before I realized that the incognito thunder was really fireworks explosions. So, I rushed out to the stairwell to enjoy whatever remained of the fireworks show. To my chagrin, as soon as I opened my front door I hear the finale, the ending salvo. Never saw the fireworks.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Light-less on the Ala Wai plus an Oddball

My desktop lamp went on the blink, sadly, permanently. Simple solution. I already had a backup desktop lamp somewhere. I bought two of the same model on the very same day back when. One of those kinda things that you like so much that I planned in advance that eventually when the desktop lamp went out I'd have an identical replacement on hand. Absolutely brilliant. The problem was that I forget, as in, bad memory, that the trusty backup desktop lamp was already the first lamp. The first lamp actually had seen its days but I still kept it around for sentimental reasons. But in reality, it doesn't work. In reality, I was already using the second backup desktop lamp. Thusly, no functioning backup desktop lamp. Thusly, no light near the computer. I don't need light while I'm on the Internet. The light on the Internet is blinding as it is. The Light of Knowledge. The light of too much knowledge as we all know too very well for ourselves. However, I do use my computer desk to read. I don't have the luxury of so much space that I can have a desk in every room in my lavish mansion. If you're wondering if it's just the halogen bulb. I tried a new halogen bulb and it still didn't work. There's something faulty with the ballast in the heavy base that keeps the lamp from falling over. I still haven't tossed the two non-functioning lamps, electronic cadavers as they are. Tomorrow. Maybe, tomorrow. For sure, tomorrow, for crying out loud.

I received a voice message from my secondary bank. By secondary bank, I mean like how you have a primary Email address and other Email addresses. The same idea. It was last year that I deposited a sum of money a few dollars shy of a million into the secondary bank. Set up a saving account with an unwavering intent of never using it. So as months went by, I don't withdraw any money, and for my frugality the bank sends me a notice that my account has garnered an inactive account status and something about them taking the money off my hands and contributing the idle money into their Christmas party fund. Of course, they didn't use those words, but the meaning was the same. So I decided to cancel the saving account but set up a checking account at the same bank, so every now and then I'll pay for gasoline and that'll keep the account active. Well, after the girl printed me out a few checks to use in the meanwhile, I noticed that my address on the check didn't have my apartment number. The girl replies that the bank didn't have my apartment number in their records. Just the street address. I explain, "There are 12 floors in my apartment building with 12 apartments on each floor. Without my apartment number how are you mailing me necessary items. I didn't remember receiving mail from the secondary bank, but since my intent was to squirrel money away, I wasn't overly concerned.

Well, after I set up the checking account, a few days later, I received the voice message from a Miss. M. whom I presumed was the same bank girl who set up my checking account because she asked me to call her back regarding something about the address they have on file for me. So, I'm already thinking out loudly to myself how can you people still keep on screwing up on my address exclamation mark. Miss M. leaves her desk phone number twice, you know, repeating it a second time, which I thought was nice. However, when I called the number today explaining that I'm returning a phone call, the girl that answered asked, "Who are calling?" Or something in the order of "Who called you asking to call them back?" So I give her the numbers to the phone number that I had dialed, and what seemed from my end of the phone barely sufficient time to have flipped through the company directory, felt like ½ second, she, "Oh that's Jonathon's number, but he's not working today." "Do you want me to transfer you to somebody who can take care of this for you?" "And oh, what was you calling about again?" So, I answered that I don't want to be transferred anywhere. It's only about address information and I'm sure that you can handle this. Now I know for a 100 percent certainty that it was a girl that had originally called and left me the voice message. And not only that, the girl's voice, the girl I'm talking to live on the phone is starting to sound so much like the girl's voice that left the original message unless she's perhaps lip-syncing. Can I even wait for her next album. Anyways, she asks me to hang on and wait while she looks up my address info and she informs me that the bank indeed has my apartment number in my address. In sum, it's kinda odd, but, what the ever, it's not big news that there are some odd people in the world lol with some incredible potential.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

This is Not Spam

It seems to me that people on our island aren't tuned into each other as well as they once used to be almost a second nature trait that you about took for granted on a daily basis. I asked the girls behind the service counter in a grocery store, "Do you dump the plastic bags in the trash that I (and customers) bring into your store?" Before I was half way through with my question, the girls started to point to the special container designated for customers to deposit their used plastic bags. "I already know that." Back to my question, "The trash company for my apartment building takes the trash to the city incinerator where the plastic bags, etc. is used as fuel for 'Trash to Energy" to produce electricity. Thusly, the gist was if the store is dumping the plastic bags instead of hauling the plastic bags off to a bona fide recycler, I minus well dump my bundle of plastic bags in our apartment's trash bin and save me a trip. "No, we take them to a recylcer," they said. Or claimed. It was almost a "We take every last darn plastic bag to a recycler accentuated with a silent of course we do." What I'm getting at, is, it did take a while to get my question across the great chasm. They even gave me some odd looks during the interim. Hey, if you really want to play that game, I'll slap my forehead and shrug my shoulders. But I'm too polite. Bad habit. Perhaps, I shoulda Emailed them my question. I'll do that next time.

Same store but different night. Two of my produce bags, the kind of clear bags that you tear off a roll, ripped apart from the bottom. A frozen slab of corned beef falls to the floor then does a bobsled. A few steps later, a second bag, my oranges tear through the produce bag and roll every which way on the floor. Fortunately, the aisle was empty. Still, better remember to wash the items off at home. I'm sure they disinfect the linoleum floor on a nightly basis but that's only after the store closes for the night. So, at the check stand, I tried to explain this phenomena to the cashier to spare other shoppers the same experience. In other words, possibly they received a bad batch of produce bags from their China supplier. I'm sure the warehouse doesn't test out the rolls of produce bags before putting them out. Thusly, how else would you know but from an I-reporter. I don't think the cashier got the point. I'm almost sure she didn't. Then, I asked her if it's okay with her if I tossed these defective produce bags into the trash receptacle under her counter. She thought I was being wasteful. My story had nothing to do with the litter. Or for that matter, the fact that I had to scoop my food items off the floor.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Redeemables II

This is how bad my memory is getting. The reason for the previous post on dumpster diving was to mention that when I toss sharp objects in the garbage I have to make sure to wrap them safely so the the dumpster divers don't get injured as they're riffling through the plastic garbage bags. But I failed to mention that. Inexplicably, that was the whole crux of the previous post, but it still slipped my mind. The list goes on. But then I'll have to remember the other incidents which might take a while. Is it funny? Well, it's starting to get not funny.

Watched the pomp and circumstance of this year's Hawaii Five-O premier on tv. We get to see the opening episode a day earlier than the rest of the nation at least if you're devoted enough to make it to the beach and watch it on the giant outdoor screen. The crowd starts staking out front row seats the night before. Naturally, I watched it on tv even though the event is happening a stone's throw from where I live on the Ala Wai.

I noticed right off the bat that some of the Hawaii Five-O minor stars are getting star struck. At least by how they handled their interviews. Fiction is getting mixed up with their non-fiction lives. Or the lines seems to be blurred between their alter egos. Meahwhile, through it all, Alex O'Loughlin (Steve McGarrett Jr.) has as usual been able to maintain himself as a class act. Obviously, Alex realizes that although the crowd sees him as Steve McGarrett, he's not well Steve McGarrett in real life. Alex has this talent of making the tv interviewers feel like they're doing him the favor instead of the other way around. Like I said class act.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


There's a stream of people who look for plastic bottles and other redeemables inside my apartment building's dumpster. The early bird of the batch arrives at 5am in the morning. Not all of these entrpreneurs are poor. For the non-poor the routine has become an addiction. Everybody brings a stick with a hook at one end, a makeshift gaft, to riffle through the rest of the garbage. There's even this girl who jumps into the dumpster, props one of the two hatches up with a cardboard box for barely a foot wide opening and spends an hour in there. One afternoon, the dumpster truck arrived while she was still inside. So I went over and, "Knock, knock. Hi, are you almost done. The dumpster people are here to empty out the bin. Just letting you know."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Leaving It at That

I noticed in the morning that somebody had gone through my saddlebags on Iron Horse. The saddlebag straps weren't locked in their buckles as I always secure them. It did set off alarms. Whomever it was (above) made off with my cigarettes, but left all my tools in the saddlebags behind, no, didn't take my engine or my transmission either. So, as far as I'm concerned about the incident .... case closed.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

All Along the Ala Wai

Is it my eyes or the camera that's outta focus? The camera.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Belated Finish of Yesterday's Post

(Flushing Meadows) .... the reason I continue to watch the US Open inspite of the irritating suspended plays due to the rain. I was about to say I'll grudgingly continue to watch the US Open. Do not adjust your screen. Here's why, up until now, the reason my secretary canceled all my appointments so I could follow the US Open on tv is that the great Roger Federer appears to be in the mood to play, this by his early rounds. Usually, he falls asleep in the middle of a match even a semi-final match or a final and the rest is history. You snooze you lose and in that aspect Federer does not set the alarm, even on his Rolex. He's the spokesman for Rolex. That's what I meant. I don't know if this sleepwalking gig is happening becuz of his age. Or because he started a family and his mind is focused more on family matters than on the bouncing ball. All the other top ranked male players are not papa's at least in an official capacity. By now, the Great One should have amassed 20 grand slam wins, instead of the 17. Whenever Federer loses to a lower ranked player, the press encapsulates the phenomena with a, "So and so won in so many sets over the Great Roger Federer." No other active player receives the invocation in the wake of a defeat, not even Serena William on the women's side after she's upset by unlikely opponent.

After watching video replays of a match he lost, Federer himself admits that he is astonished how letargic he appeared to have been playing even though on the inside he felt he was playing full speed. This may be due to his unique metabolism going rogue on him. You will never see him huffing and puffing even at the end of a grueling five hour match. It's almost super human. During the early rounds of the US Open played in 90 degree temperatures Federer's shirt was soaked but his breathing was as if he was reclined on a couch. But so it went in his scheduled match on Monday, Federer's opponent called in sick and Federer won by default without a single serve. Thus, did a well rested Federer annilhilate his opponent in today's match (Wed) as the trend seem to preordain? Remember he had won Wimbledon, the previous major, and at least by all indications in early round play seemed to be surely on his way to another major win. His quarter finals and semi finals seemed at this stage all but a formality. The reality is that Federer could not start his engine. He hit so many foul balls and so off that the audience thought he was hitting them soveniers to be autographed after the match, and this was on spectacularly easy returns shots. It was inexplicably incredible. Your first thought was that perhaps his racket was malfunctioning. The sheer number of mis-hits that Federer strung together was stunning made you suspect an imposter was playing in his place. If this had been a soccer match the crowd would have stormed onto the field and strung Federer up. Well, that's how I felt about it. Now no more Federer in the US Open. No more me watching the tournament. Novak Djokovic is already the winner.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Tennis Rant

Following the US Open Tennis on tv is turning out to be an exercise in futility. Rain suspended most of last night's and today's matches. No, I'm not cursing the weather, although it reminded me of the delays at Wimbeldon. Of course, Wimbeldon had a retractable roof on its main stadium. A $125 million state of the art retractable roof at that, but which the Wimbeldon officials stubbornly refused to use, that is, until I personally phoned the Queen of England, and a few moments later the roof magically closed, and the matches resumed to the sheer delight of millions of irrate waiting fans worldwide. You simply cannot disappoint millions of viewers putting them on hold with delay after delay I don't care if it's a major. Thusly, the US Open should have a retractable roof as well on its main stadium. The amount of revenue the promotors reap in from the tv ads in many international languages is huge. It's not like we, okay not you, but people like me, are asking them to build a $14 billion levy just an umbrella, the cost of an umbrella comparative to the size of the general fund, they don't even have to fertilize the grass with a low maintainance hard court.  At this stage of the major tournament there are premier players matched up against each other. It's nothing like the early rounds. Sometimes I think that the broadcasters should be made to sit out in the rain to inspire them to speak out. Another thing that puzzles me about the US Open is the lines on the hard courts. The lines get slippery even after a slight drizzle. Is there no material known to mankind to make white lines non-slip when they get wet?

The only reason I still continue to watch, (later)

Monday, September 3, 2012

Dis n' Dat

Want to hear something that'll turn your stomach inside out? On today's Dr. Oz show, the good doctor said that if you're always feeling low on energy, etc, it might be due to parasites living inside your system I think it was the digestive tract. Not just the run of the mill parasites. But parasites that are tenants for 25-years or more at the same zip code. At that point I switch channels because they were begining to show pics. I normally watch 24-hour news channels, but a few days ago, there was a discussion on Dr. Oz of how beneficial to you health herbs a spice are to your health, so I decided to tune in again.

Stopped at Longs Drugs (CVS) in Kahala Mall at dusk, but the store is open til midnight even though the rest of the shopping mall closes at 9pm. There was lots of empty parking spaces. So I conveniently parked in a stall about 20 feet across the store's entrance. Then the door to Long's refused to open because you guessed it, Labor Day hours. All the lights were on inside. Four people were right behind me, and they reacted in unison with the same thing that I was thinking. Didn't really need anything that urgent. You know nothing near as bad as UH's opening game loss to No. 1 ranked USC on Saturday in front of a national audience.