Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Eye of the Beholder


Since I'm all pau (finish) with the end-of-the-year plumbing repairs, I'm able to direct my full attention to prettying up the computer and its accouterments. Minus well start off with the computer monitor. I bought these cleaning wipes at Office Depot and the monitor is now so spanking clean that it befalls upon me to issue an all points bulletin alerting visitors to not visit this blog nakid because I can now see your every pimple on the other side of the monitor screen in more detail than a full-body imaging machine at the airport.

Speaking of full-body imaging machines for homeland security, there are 40 of these mechanical peeping toms located at 19 airports nationwide. There might be nothing to fear from the machines themselves, but fact that humans operate the machines is something to be wary off for obvious reasons. When would the screener of nudes transform into a pervert, or on the other extreme, sue homeland security for their impotence. Also, how if a terrorist bundles up his explosives in plastic wrap and swallows it as drug mules have been known to do except here with a ticking detonator intact? I surmise that full-body imaging machines haven't been stationed at every single airport yet because our legislators would have to endure the same explicit screen checks and that just won't do. Susan Hallowell, director of the TSA's security laboratory, volunteered to be the model in the well-known image below. My own suggestion is that they limit the security photos from the passengers' necks down to retain a semblance of anonymity as that's where explosives have been hidden in past incidents. What's that old joke that if you're ever caught naked in front of a camera? Don't panic and cover your genitals with your hands, instead hide your face.

    




Here, help yourself to some kleenix.

12 comments:

Cloudia said...

You water gone out?
How about that power outage this morning?


Aloha, Neighbor


Comfort Spiral

RONW said...

Cloudia- let me go check. Nope, it's working. We didn't have a power outage this morning over here, either.

Rowena... said...

Is that what they call a pear-shaped body?

RONW said...

Rowena- or, bowling pin, perhaps. The actual pics are obviously much larger than the 200px shown, so there's a lot more detail.

Kahuku said...

I do not want to have to go through a full body scanner. I don't like looking at my body, and I certainly don't want anyone else to have to see it just to get on a plane.

Hau'oli Makahiki Hou.

RONW said...

kahuku- myself, I'm not sure how well it'll work. These screener machines cost $100,000-170,000 a piece, a paltry amount compared to the billions already spent and being spent on terrorists' screening. In that sense, it would had been installed everywhere by now if it works as well as it suppose to. I believe the photos are life size so it's creepy. They couldn't pay me enough to be a screener.

Kay said...

Whaaaat? Are you kidding me? I didn't realize those scans were that intrusive. Also... isn't this added radiation being zapped on us?

Kay said...

WHAT again! I just saw that you're leaving. Really? I'll be missing you. Happy New Year!

RONW said...

Kay- these scanner machines work, obviously, however there's other equipment out there that are more effective and less intrusive. Plus, too, the screeners, if you remember were just minimum wage workers before they were upgraded to homeland security employees. They're basically the same bozoz. Be back on Friday.

Kay said...

Oh phew! Good to hear you will be back. Have a nice break!

Rowena... said...

Ok, vacation's over. Can you just start taking photos of stuff on the lanai railing again?

RONW said...

Rowena- Friday, eta.