Ear This

An old lady lives in the apartment unit a floor below me, directly below my apartment unit.  She spends 6 months in Hawaii, and 6 months in her home in Australia.  Oh, and she's deaf.  It is not unusual for a deaf person to blast the volume on her television set due to hearing impairment.  But this daffy has her TV sitting next to her jalousie windows and the sound carries right up into my apartment unit and all the way to the Barrier Reef in Australia.  I realize that in outback country in Australia, wild kangaroos and neighborhood dingos gather outside a home owner's living room to watch TV and it's a standing tradition to turn up the volume so the audience in the back row can hear the action, but our apartment building only boards humans whom own their own television sets.  Is there anybody from Australia that would kindly instruct me on the proper Australian protocol to tell the iffing bitch to turn down the volume on her TV?

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Anyways, my sister Emailed me this photo that a friend of hers sent her just this morning.  Seems that a customer ordered a cake from Costco over the phone for a friend's going away party, leaving instructions with a Costco employee to have written on the cake, "Best Wishes Suzanne," and underneath that, "We will miss you."

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Comments

[rowena]

Regarding the hard-of-hearing: Perhaps you could get a hold of someone that knows sign language and send'em over to relay a message to the daft one?

Regarding the cake: And it was from a Costco on KAUAI!! Buahahahahahhaha!

I love my 'hood, but this takes the cake (pun of course!).

[RONW]

Hi Rowena- the thing is, I don't know whether the old bat is about to leave any day soon, otherwise, I would lower a cardboard sign with a fishing line to her lanai. You've heard of people wintering in Hawaii to avoid the cold, but in Australia, it's currently Summer because the seasons are reversed, so the old bat is here to enjoy the weather the other way around.

Oh, that cake. Your "that takes the cake," pun absolutely slipped my mind.

[Ann da sista]

Dad has hit the point of deafness as well with the tele. He says his hearing is "slow." His television volume is the reason why Chad and I will stay in a hotel when we visit in June.... That cake is so shame and so funny at the same time. I can't believe someone actually let the cake go out the door of any establishment. I have a friend who tries to cram as many words as possible onto a cake, like "Happy birthday, Ron! You're the greatest blogger ever and I really like your bike!" The pastry people really hated her... xxoo

[Kirk]

Sheesh - Talk about taking things lo-lo literally!

[Juli]

Hey Ron!

Now I know what that ringing in my ears is from!!!!

An Australian-ism would be to yell at the top of your voice "Shut that bloody thing off!" (With bloody being pronounced "bluddy" to make it truely Aussie). We Aussies are proud of our odd profanities, and love to drop the odd "bluddy" into all sorts of sentences.

[RONW]

Hi Kirk- perhaps, I should start a food blog featuring these bloopers.

[RONW]

Hi Juli- Thankx for the advice. I actually did bump into the old bat the very next day on the front stairs of our apartment building, and mentioned the "bloody" loud TV volume to her. Didn't get far though. The old bat owns her apartment unit, and doesn't rent it out for the 6-month period that she's away, but to my chagrin I always know she's back again in the islands by the sound of her loud TV.

[RONW]

Hi Ann- thankx for Emailing me the picture. Still laughing to myself.